Really great post by Tyler over at the Real Social Dynamics Blog.
He covers a lot of the material that I try to get across on this blog, and does an especially good job of dealing with some of the paradoxes of being a non-judgmental high value guy, such as how to screen without judging.
Hey guys, Erika of Awakening from the Dream recently posted up an article in response to a comment I made about the inclusion of the principle of power in her philosophies:
She brings up some excellent points in that article. The basic premise is that God has a path for everyone, and that by surrendering yourself from TRYING to do things, you gain the power of gods path.
It reminds me of a scene in Donnie Darko, when Donnie's teacher points out the inherent paradox in time travel, that going back would inherently change the universe you went back to... thus changing you going back.
Donnie replies that there would be no paradox if one was traveling back in time along God's path, because you going back in time would have been preordained.
It's a really cool idea. We don't have to do ANYTHING, just go with your gut, stop trying to accomplish things, and the world will work itself out. Everything is planned to work out right, but it's just that people's egos fuck it up. It's cool...I'm just not buying it.
To get this out of the way beforehand:
I love the idea of a holy spirit, I think that the concept of a holy spirit is a great way to look at the world. But, I don't subscribe to this idea as THE truth... I think that it is merely one way of looking at things which can help reveal one aspect of truth.
But that's not the reason I'm not buying this definition of power, This is:
People like Muhammad Yunus. Martin Luther King Junior. Mohandas Ghandi.
They HAVE done good in the world. Not by surrendering, but by ACTING, by sticking to goals, and working at them despite setbacks.
To believe that these people ruined God's plan by setting goals and sticking to them does not make sense to me... it's not true in my heart. These people show that good can be done by making plans, and taking responsiblity.
There's another reason why I won't accept the "let go and God will provide" definition of power, This:
September 11, 2001. A small group of people, decided that they would take the lives, of another group of people.
If I wanted to believe the "Just Let Go" definition of power, there could be only two explanations of why this occurred:
1. The terrorists were not following God's Path. or 2. It was part of God's Plan.
Again, neither of these options sit well with my heart, because there is an implicit assumption in both of them: There's nothing I can do about it, and inherent in the second one... there's nothing I SHOULD do about it.
Not only does this not FEEL right, I know that there IS something I can do about it. Ask Muhammad Yunus:
Muhammad Yunus understands Power. He realizes the TRUE answer to why those people ran into that building, the answer that only someone who understands this principle can really give:
WE fucked up. Any time a human hurts another in such a big way, it's because WE as a human race failed.
Every second that I'm not doing my absolute BEST to make an impact on this world... I'm fucking up. And I don't believe that I'm going to be making the best impact without doing things like working towards a goal or having plans. Grameen Bank would not exist right now if Yunus had not done these things.
If he had not understood Power, he would have still lived a great life. He understands the principles of Truth and Love, he would have helped a great many people individually as he met with them on his journey, and do a lot of good for them... but only through the principle of Power did he realize that he had MORE of an obligation, to help as many people as he possibly could.
In the end, I just can't accept the "God's Path" definition of Power. Why would God give us Compassion and Love and Choice if the only way to fulfill them correctly was to Accept him? I side much more with Pavalina's defintion of Power: The ability to consciously and deliberately around you.
That means if there's something that you don't like about the world... you change it.
I'm looking forward to further dialogue with Erika about this issue.
There's this place... called "the field". In "the field", there are these things, called "sets". I, as a pickup artist, know how to enter these "sets" and act in specific way, so that I can go from "meet", to the ultimate goal, which is obviously to "full monty"
My mindframe:
There's this thing, called "life". and in this "Journey" I will run into some "cool and interesting people." We will work to enhance our "connection", with the ultimate goal obviously being to "live life to the fullest."
oh yeah... if a girl is really cool, I may sleep with her, to see if she's suitable for a relationship.
You're going to see a lot more posts congruent to the above mindset in the coming months.
Take a look at that clip, then ask yourself: Who has the abundance mentality in this situation, Chip or Hitch?
Pretty easy exercise, but how bout this one: Who's more likely to be the one saying "Her loss" as he stalks away?
Yeup, that creepy bastard, Chip. Hitch would never be caught DEAD saying those words, because he knows the truth:
It's OUR loss. She's missing out... but so am I.
There will never be another girl on this planet who can teach me what she would have.
There will never be another girl on this planet who can give me the experiences she would have.
I will never meet another her.
And of course, she'll never meet another guy as sexy as me.
Abundance is not treating a girl like a number. Girls are people, treat them that way. No, they're not replaceable. No matter how many sexual options you have, they'll NEVER be replacable.
A funny thing starts happening when you start treating girls like people... they start acting like people.
We're all guilty of writing LR's talking about girls as numbers, as bodies, as trophies. She does all sorts of crazy insensitive shit, and we sit there thinking how fucked up girls are. We always end the report with the something along the lines of "Whatever, I've still got the brunette hotties number... her loss."
Guess what? It's real easy for a number to not give a shit about you. When's the last time you expected any sort of decent behavior from a fuckin' trophy?
You have two options:
You can treat a girl like a number, then get surprised when she acts like one. OR You can treat a girl like a person, then get surprised when she doesn't.
Guess which one is more effective.
There is no WAY you can expect to raise a girls value to your level if you constantly treat her like she doesn't have any.
But, if you realize that she, just like every other human being on this planet, is high value from the start... then we're getting somewhere.
Once you realize that... any small mistakes she makes are just that, mistakes. She knows it, you know it, and it quickly gets corrected.
Once you make this shift, abundance is no longer about numbers. It's not about replacability... it's about Life Alignment. There are only so many hours in a lifetime. Who can you spend time with to create the most rich and interesting life possible? Who can you give and recieve the most value from? Who will bring you closer to your purpose? Who brings joy and happiness and everything YOU WANT wherever she goes?
A funny thing happens when you start treating girls like the amazing, joyful, playful creatures that they are.
This bit of "wisdom" has been floating around in the community for a while.
It seems to be absolute crap to me.
Girls seem very attracted to the provider/protector types, and also get a feeling of safety which goes beyond attraction. This second feeling means that it's not a very good idea for ONS's.
However, to generalize "not good for ONS's" to "not good at creating attraction" seems to be quite a leap for me. As I said above, it seems that the reason for this is not that it doesn't create attraction,but that it creates attraction AND something deeper.
Would love to see your experiences/information/stances about this belief. Leave a comment and let me know.
I love you. I care about you deeply. I want all the best for you. And most of all, I feel a DEEP sense of connection with you. I feel like we are one, you and I. Thank you for raising me, for creating me into the person I am today. Thank you for always believing in me, and encouraging me to follow my heart. I will never forget it.
Sincerely, Truly, and With Love, Matt
Dear Blog Reader,
I love you. I care about you deeply. I want all the best for you. And most of all, I feel a DEEP sense of connection with you. I feel like we are one, you and I. Thank you for reading my ramblings. Thank you for improving yourself, and working to become an enlightened human being. Thank you for doing all you can to be the best you can, given your circumstances.
Sincerely, Truly, and With Love, Matt
Dear Sticky Note Pad,
I love you. I care about you deeply. I want all the best for you. And most of all, I feel a DEEP sense of connection with you. I feel like we are one, you and I. Thank you for allowing me to keep track of my many homework assignments. Thank you for existing, although you had no say in the matter. Although you cannot think, I love you just the same.
Sincerely, Truly, and With Love, Matt
Ludicrous? Ridiculous? Implausable?
Oneness.
Oneness?
What's that?
Everything is one. Everyone is one thing. We are all connected. The concept of a separate entity is completley enclosed, in our mind. To see the truth of this, let's take an objective entity, like my sticky note pad. What does the concept of separateness do to affect this entity? Nothing. Physics affect this entity, cause and effect effect this entity... separateness does not, because it's not based in reality. The sticky note is not a separate entity from the rest of the universe... the universe is one interconnected entity.
By this same token, connection is completely in your mind as well. There is this false concept of somebody I label "mom". I feel I have connection with this false concept, more than any other false "entities" that I can think of. This is not to take away from the uniqueness of this false entity, but merely from her seperateness. She may be different from all these other entities I call "people", but the truth of the matter is that just as the sticky note pad is only a sticky note pad because I call it such, and is not really seperate frommy desk or my chair or the ocean in regards to the laws of cause and effect, all these people are effected by every other one, and to view them as seperate is to live in a fiction. So the "personal connection" thing doesn't really make any sense... it's not tangible, it just springs from my mind because my mind views the "mom" entity grouping of ever changing atoms as different from all the other ever changing groups of atoms.
So, if personal connection is a fiction... that means we should not connect? No, it simply means that we shouldn't discriminate with our connection. To the extent that we love ourselves, we should love "everyone" and "everything" that we come into contact with... simply because it's all the same.
Doesn't matter who they are individually... they're just part of the larger whole. Understand that you've had a more drastic on every single person you meet than you're aware of... because as a part of the whole everything effects everything. This isn't some spiritual fallacy or some idealistic idea that would be cool if it was true... this is chaos theory, plain and simple. The smallest actions can have effects FAR beyond what a single person could imagine.
So if everybody effects everyone and we're ALL the same... that means in a sense we're all already connected. From the moment we're born we've been making waves throughout the universe. Changing the weather, making people happy, causing a landslide... in places we've never been affecting people we've never met. Oneness is the realization that becaues we're all inherently connected... you should act that way. This is more than assuming that you're going to connect with somebody when you meet them... it's actually FEELING a deep connection with them before you've ever met.
When people feel this incredible connection with them that you are projecting... their mind then projects the same incredible connection back onto you. Complete strangers will open up their deepest secrets in only ten minutes. Girls afraid of being judged will disclose their sexual fantasies, tough guys will reveal their insecurities. Building a connection becomes redundant to a very large extent... you're already connected. Imagine what affect this would have on a cold approach, the feeling that you're ALREADY connected.
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