Frame-Bridging

This is something which I realized is a big part of every social interaction I have. I never really realized that I did it until yesterday, when I had a huge epiphany.

Basically, Frame Bridging is how you are able to suck other people who have strong frames into your own frame. In the community, it's called calibration, but frame bridging is a little bit different.

Calibration is more of state bridging than frame bridging. You see what the state of the girl is, and try to meet her halfway so as not to freak her out.

Frame Bridging is different. Frame Bridging is not a technique, in which you try to trick the person into becoming a better mood. It is rather, a way of understanding their frame, and through understanding allow them into your OWN frame.

Let me give an example. A lot of guys on here seem to have problems with people who used to tool on them not buying into their new 'Cool guy' frame, and still framing them as a tool. The typical RSD advice would be to 'Keep Your Frame', and eventually they'll come around. However, this technique of straight out frame control only works for people who have a very weak frame, for people with strong frames it often becomes a battle of crashing frames, with neither of the people willing to give up their frame. The solution to this is frame bridging.

I had this very same scenario happen to me today. I was talking about going to a club with my friends and this kid comes up and says something to the effect of 'What club is that, club bullshit?'. It barely even entered my reality, I automatically dismissed it with a quick 'okay' then immediately went back into the conversation. For maybe 70-90% of guys out there, that would have been enough to frame control them, and make them realize that I was a different person. But this kid had a strong frame, and just kept going. After keeping my frame a few times, but not being able to frame control him, I decided that I would need to Bridge his Frame to mine. The first thing needed was to understand his frame. This means take your ego out of the equation, no matter how off base thier perception is, you have to be able to understand their frame. In his frame, I was a loser, trying to act cool. This was annoying to him, and he wanted to put me in my place. Okay, now I understood his frame. So I have to what is different from his frame to my frame. The difference is that in my frame I answer and cater to no one, and just try follow my values. I now had to find a way to bridge his frame to my frame. way this is done is different for every situation, but once you truly understand the other persons frame, the answer will present itself. The way I did it was just to get out of that conversation and go to a completely different conversation, get away from his attempts to AMOG, just being myself like always. His frame 'he's trying to impress people' now gets shattered. 'Wait I'm cool, but he's not trying to cater or answer to me, he's just being himself'... Which is exactly what my frame is. and If your wondering, when I went back to that conversation, he respected me as his equal.

So the general steps for frame bridging are:

1.Truly understand their frame, without letting ego get into the equation.
2.Find the differences between frames.
3.Bridge the frame using the answer which presents itself based on your understanding in #1.

So that's it, the way to 'frame control' people with strong frames. Use it well.